i was really sad now. i cant smile, i cant sleep. what you said was really like lightening striking to me. i dont know whether i can take it anot, but seriously it was really a big blow to me. you told me if i say it out, i might have the chance. but now i say it out le, and you didnt give me the chance. i dont mind waiting all my time just for you, as long as you say one word, or one sentence. i will do it. you changed le, i think you wasnt like that in the past but i think you changed recently le. i scare of losing you as a friend and also as a girl i like. but do you think HE will allow us to continue even as a friend.
you know his attitude, temper all this much better den i do. do you think he will allow? to him, i was a threat to him. do you think he wont use this chance to kick me away from you? i dont know how you think about it. i wasted my first chance 3yrs ago, and thus 3yrs later i still cant wasted the chance. maybe it really the fate ba. i think no matter what i do i also cant prove to you that you really mean alot to me. you asked me about dawn just now. i said it was all the past le, and i doubt you believe me. seriously it was really the past le. who dont have it own past, what really matters now is that you the most important person to me now.
i was really sad and hurt just now lor. but i rather i take all everything den having you stress too. you said to me: are you trying to be saint. so what if i did? doesnt it make you feel lesser stress? i dont care about him, what i care is about you, what i want is you live with the smile that you always bring along one. i dont know what i can do to let you know or i can prove to you that you really mean alot to me. what i can do is to wait quietly for you without any complaint. i think nico can do that. for your sake, i prepare everything le. i planned everything just dont wanna make you feel better if we cant get together. the road for us maybe tough but i believe we can do it.
i am sorry about just now. i didnt really want to pissed you off. my brain was totally blank at that moment. i couldnt think. sorry for being selfish, but what i do is ur own good sake and as well as protect myself. i know myself will feel even more pain if we meet each other that why i could only think of that reason. seriously i couldnt bring myself for giving you up, as well as our friendship. i dont know whether you got read this anot? if got, tell me what i could do to win your heart? i seriously dont know what to do now. i can only feel pain, do you know? haiz. i couldnt sleep again tonight. i didnt cry, i just felt terribly sad, disappointed, pain, hurt. but you must know one thing, i never blame you at all. not even a little bit. i will respect whatever decision you made. i hope you can understand me and my reason too.
♣nic just rantedd -
becauseofYOU
nicodemus
male
single nineteen-to-be twenty-to-be twenty-one-to-be twenty-two-to-be
twenty-three-to-be
eightyseven SP NSF
libran
2010 resolution
-a digital camera.
-class 3 license.
-class 2 license( for fun only).
-new computer.
-laptop.
-taiwan trip.
-ORD.
