Today I went to my gong gong ( my dad's younger brother de father in law) funeral. If I'm not wrong he was having some sort of cancer which is last stage, and he live happily till the last min of his life. To me I don't have much feeling about him as he was an indirect relative to me and also he wasn't close to me. But I still hope he can R.I.P in nether world.
When I left the place for home, I heard a shocking news from my mum. My grandma aka Ah Ma, she right now also having last stage of lung cancer + another cancer. I really shocked when I heard this news. I totally can't believe the fact that my Ah Ma, she dying in 6mths time if she wasn't treated with medical care. Right now, she still don't know she got the last stage of cancer. My uncle decided not to tell her right now because he does not want to see her worry.
During the journey back, I keep on thinks back my childhood. I feel like crying out.
I can still remember when I'm still a small boy, I will always go down to my ah ma house and sing karaoke together with my younger cousins when my ah ma arounds.
I can still remember how happy she was when I bought her a gift on mother's day.
I can still remember the taste of the food she always cooked for us during CNY. This taste can never be replaced by my uncle.
I can still remember how she care and worried for me when quarrel with my dad and left the house.
I can still remember how she always told me whether I've got any girlfriend, and told me not to rush for it. You are so handsome, so you no need to worry about girlfriend.
I can still remember how she dote me.
I totally can't accept it. I can't accept the fact that she left 6mths or so to live. I can't accept that she will be leaving us soon. I don't want that kind of feeling again. Two years ago, I got this kind of heartache feeling of someone important who had left my life. I really hope this kind of feeling won't come back again. I really hate it.
Ah ma, Please get healthy again and watch over me. You are the only left, so please don't go. I will pray for you every single day and night.
